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Giuliani associates owned businesses named 'Fraud Guarantee' and 'Mafia Rave'

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By Ellie Houghtaling

You think that someone associated with the highest reaches of the U.S. government would only hire the best people, not the most obvious ones.

Lev Parnas and Igor Fruman, associates of Rudy Giuliani, were caught trying to flee the country Thursday and were arrested on campaign finance violations. But nobody anticipated the outrageous business names associated with the pair.

Fruman was associated with a club in Ukraine called Mafia Rave, and Parnas even has an easily navigable website, listing himself as co-founder and CEO of Fraud Guarantee, a fraud protection company.

One of the Giuliani/Ukraine guys arrested today had a company called Fraud Guarantee and the other had a club called Mafia Rave. I am not making this up. Google it.

— Ryan Lizza (@RyanLizza) October 11, 2019

SEE ALSO: Seth Meyers rounds up the weirdest Rudy Giuliani TV moments of impeachment season (so far)

Parnas and Fruman's comically incriminating businesses are making professional writers look like try-hards.

With real life companies having names like "Fraud Guarantee," and a beach club called "Mafia Rave," why do us writers even need to try to come up with creative names for fictional villain groups or entities? https://t.co/aupbeG479P

— Netrunner Nafees (@Deep_Diver_0) October 11, 2019

Regardless, the creatives of Twitter had a field day coming up with alternative names for the outrageously goony businesses.

Personally I'd go to Gang Fiesta over Mafia Rave

Fraud Guarantee
Ripoff Promise
Theft Treaty
Heist Hopes
Mafia Rave
Gang Fiesta
Bamboozlement Incorporated

— Xeni 'Wow. Okay.' Jardin (@xeni) October 11, 2019

That last one would make it hard to deny a quid pro quo

Names Lev Parnas rejected before calling his company Fraud Guarantee:
Crimes Made Obvious
FrontCo
Shady Motherfuckers Inc.
International Brotherhood of Money Launderers
Congressional Wholesalers, LLC
GraftMart
Just Bribes!
Jail-mii
Like Uber, but for Wire Fraud
Quid Pro Quo Pros

— Elliott Downing (@elliott_downing) October 11, 2019

Maybe they're just tempting us

Absolute Corruption
Crime Inc.
Scam Pros LLC
The LaunderMart
Dirt Diggers LLC
Guess they were all taken, hence Fraud Guarantee. FRAUD GUARANTEE!! At this point they're just fucking with us, they completely expect us not to do anything about it. Just like with Russia. Or Stormy.

— ?????✪ (@RealChudi) October 11, 2019

If they nail the dance number, an a capella group could work

A PAC called “From Russia, With Love”

— Learning (@CitizenMikeH) October 11, 2019

All of these still sound less incriminating than Fraud Guarantee

Con contracts
Scam securities
Deceit deposits
Fake insurance
Shenanigan certificates
All sound like totally reasonable and legitimate businesses.

— Wile E. Coyote (@schroedingereqn) October 11, 2019

But nothing beats the originals

I can’t come up with anything that’s funnier than the actual names

— Xeni 'Wow. Okay.' Jardin (@xeni) October 11, 2019

I mean, how can you compete with Fraud Guarantee? And Mafia Rave sounds like the worst club in town. This era of politics just feels too surreal to believe.

Topics:
Business, Culture, Donald Trump, Politics, rudy giuliani, Twitter
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